Mike.

An overwhelming and blurry week for my family. An overwhelming and blurry week for my family. It’s been emotional, powerful at times, and something that I am still trying to fully process.

Five months ago, my Uncle Mike was diagnosed with Cancer. Having already lost an Uncle to the same thing before, my initial response was, “here we go again…”. Forever an optimist though, and mixed with some initial promising news, I held out hope that this was something that would be beat. Last week though, things took a drastic and sudden turn for the worse. My Uncle was given one week to live, and passed away 2 nights later on June 14th.

One regret that I’ve always held when it comes to the death of my Uncle Paul in 2003, was that I didn’t get to see him much before he went. I had just gone off to college for my freshman year, and retrospectively I don’t think I really realized the severity of the situation. By the time that I realized how serious things were, it was at a point where he was too sick to see anyone. 

I told myself that I wouldn’t let it happen again. I’ll be honest though, there is a part of me that freezes up in times of loss and struggle. There is a part of me that worries about it seeming like the only reason I am contacting this person is because of the dire situation. Unfortunately, I let it happen again. Each week, for the past few months, my family has been gathering at my Uncles house for Sunday lunch, and every week I had to miss it because of work. I always told myself that I’d make the next one, but I never did and I’ve been beating myself up over it. I did get to spend time with him on two occasions, and the lunch that we ate while my Aunt Lisa was home is something that I will always hold dear.

It has sparked something in me though. A concrete motivation to practice what I preach and let people know how important they are to me. With things like Facebook, it allows us to keep in touch with family and friends, and that is great. I fully see the positive in social networking. However, I feel like it also has created an age of passive relationships. Too often do I see people say “Let’s hang out!” and then rarely ever do. People opting to live strictly through online photo albums or only wishing others a “Happy Birthday” via a wall post, instead of a phone call.

I’ve learned, firsthand, that things can literally change in a moment. Things can begin and end before you even realize it.

Go see you friends. Don’t let things go unsaid. If you have a problem, let it out and perhaps peace can be made. If you love someone, let them know before it’s too late. Let your presence be known. Throughout the events of the past week, I’ve talked to people I haven’t talked to in years and come across faces that I have never seen. It is pure evidence of how far the presence of my Uncle Mike was felt. He was one of those people. A magnetic, comedic, and generous presence. We are lucky to be able to call him family.

I’ll close with this…

One of the most vivid memories I have of Mike came in 2000 on the night that my Grandfather passed away. Gathered around a fire, with every member of my family,  there was an obvious energy in the air but no one quite knew what to say. A stein was passed back and forth to those who wanted to take part. I stood quietly and tossed rocks into the dark. I then remember Mike spoke up and everyone got quiet.

He took the lead and tearfully gave a toast to my Grandfather, saying everything that needed to be said. 

That moment has always stuck with me and I think it’s only proper to give Mike a toast of his own. So, here’s to Mike…Husband, Father, Son, Brother, Uncle, and Friend. We miss you.